the levity of firing into the dark: poema

The e-Inquirer, publicación del programa de MFA en Escritura Creativa de la Universidad de Texas en El Paso, acaba de publicar una colaboración mía, «the levity of firing into the dark», poema que comparto a continuación:

the levity of firing into the dark

sitting on the hood of the Jeep you stole
the moment to call the night suspended in
cigarette smoke and mescal       wasted
time of desperate bad blood cursing
the utterly dead
town we scorned with cul-de-sac blue
love of strangers looking from afar on a hill

even silence stuttered, lead
to numb the stars when you loaded
the magnificent possibility of blasting
at the unmerciful universe above us

worm of Mount Alban swam
still at the shallow bottom       Glock 19 shades
sparkled in my blurry vision

you said let’s pierce heaven
blind, strange broken rancor
enticing me to pick the handgun and shoot
the thrill out of a godless sky

glassy brown eyes burned behind
Buddy Holly glasses that didn’t help
enough to make you see through
things that simply happened like becoming
the orphan that made you my brother
in a novel i would never write

the wind trimmed your crew
cut and shaved your high cheekbones
when you first fired into the night

bullet casings dripped
as rain     i merely winced

you hoped to drill the dark
wallpaper of stars we’d never reach
out in our small lives of late night fried
rice combos     Ego rolls      underage beer
drinking      the loss of our fathers

you discharged those shots in
anger and a grim taste
agave minus one bullet

you insisted i should try
but I simply recoiled in stillness

with fear worming in my eyes
i swallowed the drunk
nothing as we made the trip downhill
past the skeletons of trees futile
as moths pureed on the windshield

you dropped me off home with the dogs
barking at the noise of my thoughts

poems milked out of impassive slumber
and the low light in my front porch

as you drove away, i missed you
didn’t fist-bump me or say goodbye

i will never forgive myself for not firing
the one last bullet you took with you